Boy Parts

I’ll be 110% honest with you all….when I found out that my first baby had boy parts….I was kinda crushed. I know, most people dream of one boy and one girl and a happily ever after. But boy parts scared me….a lot. Baby boys were pretty much unheard of on my side of the gene pool until Little Dude B showed his, eh hem…parts. I have one sister. My mom had one sister. My grandma had 2 sisters….and so on pretty much all the way up the family tree. I just had to be different didn’t I? Always the attention seeker.

Why was I crushed? After all, he appeared to be perfectly healthy and happy all snuggled up in my womb. And lord knows, the hubs was THRILLED that there would be more boy parts in the house….even our male dog is neutered. I was crushed because I thought that there was absolutely NO WAY that a little boy would want to cuddle with his mama as much as a little girl. I thought he would be all about exploring the great wide open and have no time for sad little mama sniffling as he took his first steps…away from me. I couldn’t imagine a little boy snuggling his face into the curve of my neck when he was scared and needed to find his courage. Only little girls do those things right?
Oh so very wrong….again.

My little man has been the initiator of FAR more cuddle sessions over his nearly 2 years thus far than his 4 year old sister has ever been. He clings to me when he is in unfamiliar surroundings and always looks to me for support and approval when he branches out to try something new. He looks back often…and I kinda love it. And I have felt his warm breath against that curve in my neck so many times that I can almost summon it at will….even when he is not near me.

This morning was our first round of dual swim lessons. He is still in the Mommy and Me level while Sweet R is in the Teacher Only class. While I can honestly say that I am equally proud of my kiddos for the efforts they put out this morning, I think I also had a glimpse into our future. The Summer 2030 Olympics may very well be dominated by that little girl currently not napping upstairs (I can hear her running laps in her room…), and I think that her little brother will be there cheering her on…..from my lap. Alright, that may be a bit extreme….and would admittedly be weird (although I would secretly love it), but this morning, that tiny child of mine used all 23 of his pounds to cling to my neck and not look once at the rest of his swim-class mates. He didn’t scream. He didn’t fight it. He just clung to my neck for dear life and sobbed quietly as we sang all sorts of toddler songs off-key and bounced up and down in a lovely water circle.

Sweet R….you know, my daughter….was off and jumping into her teacher’s arms (whom she had met approximately 27 seconds earlier)…without a passing thought of glancing over her shoulder.

So there you have it. Boy Parts most certainly do not mean less of a need for mama. In fact, in our case, just the opposite. I think back and I feel so guilty for having any sort of pregnancy gender disappointment. But I am pretty sure I am not the only one who has been there.

And I am also fairly certain that the vast majority of us who have been there, look at our beautiful families as they are today and can imagine it no other way….